Over the past years, Abba has taken me, and continues to take me, on a journey through maturity, refinement, submission, and healing. Part of this journey, has been defining who I am as a woman, wife, mother, and daughter of the King. I have struggled in many of these areas but thanks to Yah’s grace and mercy, I have been able to overcome, and continue to do so.
I think that many, if not most of us, go through a sort of ‘identity crisis’ as we enter into covenant with Yeshua, and rightfully so as we are drawn further out of the worlds ways and into His. For those who continue to pick up their cross, and press into Him, we are continually being made new in areas in our life, loosing the desires of our own heart, and acquiring the desires of His heart.
I decided to start a series of blog posts that detail events in my life that the Father has brought me through in my ‘identity crisis’ and where I have been healed and set free from a lifelong issue with my self-esteem and self-worth. If you are not at these areas in your walk, then that is ok, but I do challenge you to look at your motives and intentions and ask the Father to search your heart, and find out what pleases Him. After all, our Father knows what’s best, right?
So, I am compiling some testimonies I have had over the years, specifically concerning: hair dye, make-up/cosmetics, and nail polish. I have added more specifics and research where needed.
Hair Dye
Feb 24, 2016
You know, I used to be really big into dying my hair, mostly because I hated the grey hairs I had, as I started to get grey hair when I was about sixteen, and I have really dark hair. It was an area of self-conscious for me, and at times would get really upset that my grey hairs were showing. I did the highlights thing, the go lighter thing, then back to dark, etc. Then one day about 5 months ago, I came across this passage in the Bible:
Proverbs 16:31Grey hair is a crown of adorning, It is found in the way of righteousness. (ISR 98)
The same day I stopped dying my hair, and will never do so again. YHWH 
created me the way I should be, and He adorned my hair the way He delighted it to be. So, I will let my grey hair be adorning to me, and continue to walk the ways of righteousness as laid out by my Adonai, My Lord, My Abba, Yeshua.
I do remember this day fondly, and what was so amazing about it, is that after I was convicted, Yah took that desire away completely, and replaced it with His desire. I ran to the mirror for the first time looking at my grey hairs through His eyes, and finding beauty there that I never did.
I have to say that three years later, my hair is more shiny and healthier, then it has probably ever been. Coloring the hair is purely a cosmetic procedure to enhance a fashion trend or what is aesthetically pleasing to a person, and over a prolonged period of time can damage the hair. We must remember that our bodies, to include our hair, are to give glory to our Creator(1 Cor 6:20), not ourselves. Dying hair an array of colors is a standard set by the world, and is not holy unto the Lord.
Make-up/Cosmetics
June 2, 2017
Children are an immense blessing. Often times we are able to see in them what we ought to do or not do ourselves.
I remember sometime ago, I saw a small child being dressed up with make-up on, I believe it was concerning a beauty pageant, and I was immediately repulsed within my spirit, as I thought of my own daughters, and how it would be completely unacceptable for them.
I honestly believe that is how Yah sees us women, when we alter our bodies and faces for the purpose of vanity. Many will argue that they do not do it for vanity, but I would argue that if we were really honest with ourselves, it is. Granted, we should not judge by mere outward appearance, however, the outward appearance is generally only an outward manifestation of the heart condition.
When I was in my teens, and early 20’s I layered my face so much, that come high noon, it was as if my face was sliding off my skull. No joke, it was literally like it pooled down my face into a depository on my neck and shirt.
Over time though, as I came into my walk with Messiah and as I matured in Yah, I slowly began removing pieces of make-up from my make-up bag, as it was congruent with the issues being dealt within my heart. My identity in Him became more grounded, and I saw the beauty in me of the woman He created and was creating.
Then came a point when I was deeply convicted when I not only saw this young girl plastered with makeup, but then questioned why if I would not let my daughter wear make-up, then why would I…furthermore was there more on this then I realized?
I honestly had not looked into the matter biblically until about a year or so ago, as I just was moved by the Spirit to do and I obeyed. However, once I started seeing some of these passages that I am going to share, the matter started to become more clear:
•Jer 4:30And when you are ravaged, what would you do? Though you put on crimson, though you adorn yourself with ornaments of gold, THOUGH YOU ENLARGE YOUR EYES WITH PAINT, YOU ADORN YOURSELF IN VAIN. Your lovers despise you, they seek your life.
•2 Kings 9:30When Jehu came to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it, AND SHE PAINTED HER EYES and adorned her head and looked out the window.
•Proverbs 6:25Do not desire her beauty in your heart, Nor let her capture you WITH HER EYELIDS.
•Ezekiel 23:40″Furthermore, they have even sent for men who come from afar, to whom a messenger was sent; and lo, they came– for whom you bathed, PAINTED YOUR EYES and decorated yourselves with ornaments;
In just these few Scripture passages, the women(also seen as adulterous Israel) who painted their eyes and face was through an impure heart to lure men through seduction; they were harlots, adulterers, backsliders, and false prophetess.
I also came upon the following information (note: more was added as I furthered my research) :
The meaning of the word mascara. It comes from the word mask, and the word masquerade also derives from it. It can also be associated with “Latin treatises sometimes used the word mascara when referring to witches”. “The origin of mascara was invented by the
ancient Egyptians around 4,000 B.C. Egyptians used kohl to darken their eyelashes and eyebrows in hopes of warding off evil spirits and protecting their souls. Men and women both wore kohl. Kohl contained ingredients such as malachite, galena, charcoal, honey, water and crocodile stool. After the fall of the Roman Empire, people stopped using kohl in Europe, but it was still used for religious purposes in the Middle East.” (Quoted from Wikipedia)
What I also found interesting is that the Hebrew word משקרות (MaSQROTh) as relating to women’s eyes is found in Isaiah 3:16. Sounds and looks pretty close to “Mascara” and can also be translated as “seductive”. Considering the context of the passage, this is HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT, as the eyes being spoken of were the haughty women of Zion; which correlate to everything mentioned above, if not even a proper culmination of it.
Isa 3:16And יהוה (YHWH) says, “Because the daughters of Tsiyon are haughty, and walk with outstretched necks and SEDUCTIVE EYES, walking and mincing as they go, making a jingling with their feet,
17therefore יהוה shall smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Tsiyon, and יהוה expose their nakedness.”(ISR 98)
What this research also brought up for me was the passage of Prov 6:17, concerning 6 things that Yah hates, is haughty eyes. While I garner that this can be more figurative, it has been made apparent to me that it was/is also an outward manifestation through the adornment of eye beauty modification.
With all this, I would like to bring up one final statement from Wikipedia on mascara/make-up:
“Makeup was considered unsightly and uncouth in Western culture until the Victorian era. During the Victorian era, social opinion shifted radically towards the promotion of cosmetics, and women were known to spend a majority of their day occupied with beauty regimens.”(Quoted from Wikipedia)
Two things I want to point out here concerning this last statement:
1.) the continued perpetual obsession with women spending not only a vast majority of their time, but also money into beauty “regimens”. I cant even tell you how much money I have saved now that I do not spend on “getting my hair did”, “plastering my face”, and “getting my nails did” (as you will read about next).
2.) The word cosmetics, as it has a revealing origin, coming from the Greek word kosmos, which means “of this world, worldly.”
When our self-esteem and worth is wrapped up in cosmetics, it is of the world, and is valued solely on the outward appearance; which causes people to become vain, prideful, lustful, boastful and causes a lot of harm. We must begin in the heart, and allow Yah to define beauty, not us.
I hope this challenges those who are either still wearing make-up or are starting to be stirred in their spirit.
Nail Polish
September 15, 2017
Close to a month ago, I was looking through a cabinet in the bathroom and I saw a small collection of nail polish, that I have not worn in about 3 years. I could not bring myself to wear it anymore as Yah was leading me away from it, and it was at a similar time Yah was leading me to no longer dye my hair, or wearing makeup. I also have permanent nail damage due to the many times that I would have acrylics put on my nails, as they would file them down so low, to be able to place the acrylics on top.
I finally threw the bottles of nail polish away, as they represented a part of me that is no longer a part of me. For the same reasons that I dyed my hair, and wore makeup, were for the same reasons I wore nail polish. Just as Yah showed me and convicted me using our girls concerning makeup, in that it would be completely unacceptable for them, I could also never bring myself to paint their nails; even though there is some sort of unwritten rule with mothers and their daughters in painting their nails. That unwritten rule belongs to the world, and into the same vanity issues with that of makeup and dying of the hair.
When I was in the military we could not wear nail polish that was too brilliant, or in extreme appearance, it had to be either a natural color or what is called a ‘French tip’. In order to represent the Air Force, we had to adhere to certain standards and not draw too much attention to ourselves.
In a similar fashion Yah’s Word says:
1 Tim 2:9In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; 10But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.(KJV)
I find it interesting now that I look back at all the times I rebelled in the military by trying to get away with dying my hair a crazy color or painting my nails ‘fire engine red’ that it was really just rebellion to Yah, and the issues I had concerning my self image.
I found it interesting that as Yah had showed me these things, that as I looked further into the history of nail polish, and cosmetics or make-up in general:
“Nail polish in the Western world has traditionally been worn by women, going in and out of acceptability depending upon moral customs of the day. In Victorian era culture it was generally considered improper for women to adorn themselves with either makeup or nail coloring, since natural appearances were considered more chaste and pure. In the 1920s, however, women left corsets and long gowns behind, changed to simple loose-fitting dresses, and began to wear color in new makeups and nail products, partly in rebellion to such prim customs of their recent past. Since the 1920s, nail colors progressed from French manicures and standard reds to various palettes of color choices, usually coordinated with the fashion industry’s clothing colors for the season. By the 1940’s the whole nail is finally painted as before it was fashionable to have the tips bare and half-moon on the nail bed.”(Quoted from Wikipedia)
Also, as the rise of rock music, particularly 70s-80s, and into the grunge/goth era of the 90s, many male rock stars started to wear nail polish as a “rebellion of gender norms”, and black nail polish became popular among both men and women, of which I am entirely familiar with as I was in High School in the 90s. Many men also began wearing more makeup, to include black eyeliner. Now, today with a prominent gender role crisis, and transgender, it is common for men to wear makeup and cosmetics, and it stems from rebellion.
Many to also have included myself, don’t realize that there are also health risks with nail polish. I know often times when I would walk into a nail salon, I would be overwhelmed with the smell of fumes, and nail technician’s would also wear masks. Some of the ingredients in nail polish can cause issues in the endocrine system with an increased risk of diabetes. In some places nail polish is considered a toxic waste. I remember back in high school that some friends and I would paint our nails so much, that they actually became discolored from the constant application of polish.
We are told in Yah’s Word, that we are continually being made in His image, and that we are to be set-apart in all areas of our life. This includes our outward appearance, and it should be a reflection of an inward changed heart. Modesty begins in the heart, and works itself outward and as I continue to grow and allow Him to refine me, I find that I no longer need the world’s ways of acceptance of beauty. I have His. May all that read this examine their heart before Yah, and find where their treasure is.
•1 Peter 3:3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as braided hair or gold jewelry or fine clothes, 4but from the inner disposition of your heart, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God’s sight. 5For this is how the holy women of the past adorned themselves. They put their hope in God and were subject to their husbands, (BSB)
•Ps 139:14I give thanks to You, For I am awesomely and wondrously made! Wondrous are Your works, And my being knows it well.(ISR 98)
•Prov 31:30Loveliness is deceptive And prettiness is vain, A woman who fears יהוה is to be praised.(ISR 98)
